It’s always a struggle to let go of the pain hurtful things done by others causes. I’ve learned that trying to suppress bitter thoughts never works. We need to deal with them. Fighting and overcoming bitterness is a work of faith, not an attempt to cover over pain until it can’t be suppressed any longer.
For all of us, moments come when resentment rises. We know as believers in Jesus that such thoughts cannot take root. Yet how do we prevent it?
Here is what has helped me uproot the sprouts of bitterness before they crowd out peace and joy in Jesus.
How has knowing Jesus changed my life?
I remind myself of what my life would look like if Jesus weren’t bringing me to a realization of how unlike Him I am. This always reminds me that whether a person knows Jesus or not, they’re only able to behave like Him to the extent to which they appreciate Him. Likewise, they can only experience salvation to the extent they have seen Him. Our salvation is full and complete in Jesus, yet our experience in Him is unfolding along the timeline of our lives.
We’re all kin.
The concept of corporate humanity has helped me a lot. We are all the same humanity—a multiplication of Adam. Thus, each one of us enters this earth with a rebellious and self-centered attitude. We are at enmity against God. We all want fairness, yet it’s always at everyone else’s expense. At best, we’ll seek fairness for those we feel deserve it. This is our corporate identity.
Jesus stepped into that multiplication of Adam to save us from ourselves. As a result, He also expanded our concept of who is deserving. None deserve, yet in Messiah, all deserve because all need deliverance from their rebellious inheritance.
Fight bitterness with the truth.
So when resentment strikes, consider fighting the bitterness with the truth as it is in Jesus. “I’ve been rebellious and didn’t deserve forgiveness, yet He considered me deserving anyway. They have been ____ and don’t deserve forgiveness, yet I will consider them deserving anyway.”
This isn’t ignoring the hurtful event. It is a choice to recognize your own brokenness, and to extend to others the same grace you experience when you realize you’ve hurt your redeemer.
Emotions lag behind choice.
At first, the sting may seem as strong as ever. However, granting to another the same grace you have received is loving “your neighbor as yourself.” Expect the emotions to take some time to catch up with what you are choosing in recognition of who you are “in Messiah.”
Remember, we walk by faith, not by sight. Hebrews 12 is Paul’s summary of what we should do in response to the faith chapter of Hebrews 11. It’s incredibly powerful. Paul says, “For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” If there is any word of encouragement I can give you if you are struggling with bitterness against someone, it is this. “Consider Him!” Don’t waste your energy considering anyone else.